Laugh I could have died

called by an off-shore call centre telling me they were part of microsoft and would help me clear all the viruses off my computer....

caller ...Hello, are you the owner of the computer

me.. err, err, yes
caller.... crap about microsoft and viruses. followed by ... Is your computer turned on, do you own it and are you by the keyboard.

Me... yes, ooooh what is happening I am scared.

caller... no need to worry I am here to help.

An attempt to take over control of my computer.

Me.... I have something strange on my screen

caller... what does it say?

Me. F for foxtrot, U for uncle C for Charlie K for king I for indigo N nor nobody G for goose W for whisky

Caller... hold on a moment. (He must hang up)

I was transferred to a supervisor.

Supervisor... That looks like a bad virus, new attempt to take over my computer.

Me. Oh no this looks horrible lots of stuff on my screen, please help.

Supervisor.... What do you have.

Me... W for whisky... did you get that

Supervisor... yes (Every letter afterwards, same question, same response).

Me... A for alphabet

N for nobody

K for King

E for Egg line and lots of spaces, do you want that too (surely I must be found out by now)

Supervisor... No this is a bad virus we will sort it out in a moment, what else is on the screen.

R for Romeo

S for Stereo

C for Charlie

A for Apple

M for mother

M for mother

E for Egg

and now a big gap

R for red

S for erm.. Sock

That is all I dont know what it means, what does it say.....

Supervisor... (gets the conversation with him in one)

Me... no you missed the first word...

Supervisor... Oh shit.

Made me smile and now I digress

Laugh I could have died I have not laughed so much since auntie mabel caught her left tit in the mangle... Peter Cook and Dudley Moore Ad Nauseum (Sick Bag) a brilliant peice of satire
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